It's that time of year again when the visions of sugarplums that dance in our heads collide with the snarled holiday traffic around shopping malls.  When our lives are perking along "normally", we've got the usual frustrations and perturbations of everyday life to contend with.  In spite of all the intensity of the run-up to Christmas, when it comes we'll probably have a smile on our faces, enjoy all the lights, the decorations, the special worship services and all the rest.

But sometimes events impact our lives that leave us reeling.  When this happens, the "magic" of Christmas goes out the window.   That's when we need the deeper meanings of the season.  The Advent hymn quoted above speaks more realistically to the meaning of Christmas than the glitzy, frenetic, high-pressure observation our culture has fashioned around this season.  For it was to people walking in darkness . . . the darkness of oppression, of hunger and homelessness, of being marginalized, rejected and forgotten that their Messiah was born.  At least that's the New Testament's take on it.  But our culture's socially-enforced heavy emphasis on being "merry" and convivial, can become a setup for depression when we are experiencing loss and other difficult emotions at this time of year.  For then we feel anything but merry and convivial.  Instead of generating its intended mood, the typical observation of Christmas can add to the pain we are already experiencing.  Paradoxically, it can feel oppressive to us, only emphasizing our own internal sense of being lost and forgotten.

If you are such a person, take heart.  You are not alone . . . and the season has its own far deeper meanings that may be of some value to you as you  move through your difficulties.  The following resources may be helpful to you in discovering those meanings.  And if you are a caregiver, they may help you as you express your caring.

For a brief examination of this topic, check out Dr. Bill Everhart's essay, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?" which appears on the website of Pastoral Counseling of Northern Virginia. 

The longer pieces below speak to the matter of difficult losses during the celebratory seasons at the darkest time of the year.  In them, you'll read a stories about an exceedingly difficult losses at this time of the year . . . and the deeper meanings the season can bring to those experiencing such losses.  We hope you'll find something in them that speaks to your head and heart.  The links below will take you to them.

      A Loss and a Discovery at Christmastime                   A Christmas Eve Funeral                       

<Back to Seasonings